Mediola

Desperate Housewives: What makes it work?

Teri Hatcher, in the years when she was every American man's fantasy.
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Here is a true programming phenomenon: an out-of-the-blue oddball formula that premieres and shoots right to the top of the ratings charts.

It has none of the tried-and-true (translate tedious and mind-numbing) formulae--not a procedural, not a sitcom, not a drama, no cops, doctors, lawyers or mafioso.  It's about a group of women, but it's not Baywatch.  These women are, after all, older desperate housewives.  What's going on here?

What we have here is a very clever translation of the work of one of our great film makers adapted for the small screen.  Without question, the inspiration for Desperate Housewives is Tim Burton's film Edward Scissorhands.  Think about it for a minute.  Take Edward (Johnny Depp) and his Maker out of Edward Scissorhands, and you have Wisteria Lane.  Far out?  No way.

Shopping in Los Angeles for chic women's clothing

I have often told actresses that they have to develop a sense of personal style, and that to prepare for stardom they must acquaint themselves with clothing that is chic, and wear their brand every day.

Virtually none of them get it.  Frankly, I think it's because few of them have lived in Manhattan, and they don't keep up on fashion. 

Here's my initial advice: subscribe to British Vogue.  It's expensive, but you need it.

Lots of girls hang out and audition in sweats or yoga tops and pants.  I'll tell you who can get away with that, and I've seen it with my own eyes: Jennifer Love Hewitt.  If you saw her with no underwear and clingy yoga garb, your brain would melt.

For everyone else in LA, I have a list of boutiques where true fashion can be found.  The sad thing is that when I've bought gifts for clients from these shops, they actually won't wear them.  If it's not trash, it's too weird and scary .

Wanna be a star?  Be great at your craft and learn to dress:

The November 2004 sweep kicks off with a horrid OC

Huggies at the end, parents who worry themselves to death about their children, kids chomping to leave home but just really can't resist returning to mommie and daddy where everything is easy and paid for.

What a bunch of crap.  And in the middle of it, Peter Gallagher, a solid actor who was triumphant in the 1992 Broadway revival of Guys and Dolls, co-starring with Nathan Lane.  Gallagher is doing the Bronx Irish accent Gary Sinise should be doing on CSI:NY.  And God blesses him with patience and empathy, while chaos reigns around him.  He can be happy eating dinner in a demolished house while desperate to bring home his runaway son, and keeping to himself an impending, and potentially financially devastating investigation into family business dealings.  BUT!  He's a lawyer!  So he'll figure it out!  Because the sun is shining in Orange County, which is largely a low rent outland of Los Angeles.  And to top it off, a pregnant girl lies to her boyfriend about her baby dying in utero because she thinks he doesn't love her, and she does this with her MOTHER'S SUPPORT!

You've heard of 3-hankie shows?  This one is a 5-toilet paper swipe bonanza.

The commercials were cool, though.  But the much-vaunted fashions looked like off-the-rack crap from Marshall's to me.  Did you catch the Old Skool Vans?  Man, I was wearing those 10 years ago.  Wow, trendulicious. 

This may be great entertainment for 14 year olds, but if Fox thinks this is Desperate Housewives (more crap I'll be getting into) or CSI or NCIS, give it up.